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What Makes a Band A Essay?
Annotated Essay Excerpt
[Introduction — strong thesis underlined]
When Watson and Crick published their model of DNA in 1953, they relied on Rosalind Franklin’s X-ray crystallography data without her knowledge or consent. The resulting discovery transformed biology — yet the knowledge was built on a foundation involving both methodological brilliance and ethical compromise. This example suggests that reliable knowledge is shaped not only by the rigour of its methods, but also by the values and power structures of the community that produces it.
[Examiner note: The opening example is specific, not vague. The thesis is bold and debatable — it directly sets up the argument for the whole essay.]
[Body Paragraph — Claim → Example → Analysis structure]
Claim: In Natural Sciences, the peer review system is designed to make knowledge reliable through methodological rigour. Example: The reproducibility crisis in psychology — where over 60% of landmark studies failed to replicate (Open Science Collaboration, 2015) — demonstrates that even rigorous, peer-reviewed methods can produce unreliable knowledge when community incentives (publish or perish) distort how methods are applied. Analysis: This challenges the title’s implicit assumption that reliable methods automatically produce reliable knowledge — it shows that values embedded in the scientific community (career pressure, funding bias) mediate the relationship between method and reliability.
[Examiner note: Clear MEAL paragraph structure. The counter-evidence is used analytically — not just listed.]
Common Essay Errors Seen by Examiners
- ✔ Every paragraph has a clear claim (not just a topic sentence)
- ✔ Every example is specific — named person, event, discovery, date
- ✔ Analysis directly links the example back to the title and TOK concepts
- ✔ Counter-arguments are acknowledged and responded to
- ✔ TOK concepts (evidence, certainty, interpretation etc.) are used accurately
- ✔ No Wikipedia citations — use primary sources, journals, named researchers